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female identity and sexuality

How has our society, by asking women to be quiet and good, shaped our identity and sexuality?

  • How do you define your female identity?
  • How does your sexuality connect to your identity?
  •  Are you concerned about how others see you?
  • What parts of yourself are you losing by being who others want you to be?

Women commonly feel and believe that their own pleasure is a byproduct of serving others, or that creating pleasure in others is their own pleasure. This narrow definition of how women feel pleasure may leave the woman that goes after her own separate wants and needs feeling guilty and selfish. She may struggle and view herself as falling short of the idealized selfless (quiet and good) woman, wife and mother that is endorsed by our society.

Women learn that they must self-sacrifice in order to maintain their family bonds and that becoming aware of, or acting on their own desires, runs the risk of hurting their families. They may fear losing approval and love if they go after what they want.

  • If we define a woman’s sexuality as her capacity for pleasure, and we relate this to her ability to be self-nurturing and authentic, where does that leave women today?
  • Has your sexuality vanished from your identity? Are you unsure of how you arrived where you are in your life? Would you like to become self-nurturing and more authentic?

All of these areas can be explored in our work together. We can process what is coming up around the beliefs you hold, where and when you learned these beliefs, and whether you would like to hold on to them or if they are no longer aligned with who you are today, explore the possibility of letting them go.