Your partner isn’t a mind reader.
Do you feel frustrated when you share things about your day with your partner? Do you wish they would stop trying to fix or problem solve, and instead listen and show support? Have you stopped sharing because you know you won’t get what you need?
Are you feeling anxious or depressed?
Life is a journey that brings with it many ups and downs. We are constantly confronted with the need to be flexible and accept change. Sometimes the changes that occur are planned, like moving, deciding to start a family, graduating from college or graduate school, or changing careers. When change takes you by surprise, it can bring along with it feelings of fear, loss and a need to tighten up or become more controlled.
All of us have had moments in our lives that were anxiety-ridden and others that left us feeling low. Anxiety, shame and guilt are all ways your body talks to you, sending signals so that you are aware of something not feeling right. When these feelings become a regular part of your day-to-day life it can be very difficult to figure out what will help stop the cycle, and equally as hard to reach out and seek help.
What do they say about your same-sex desire?
For those of you that find your source of grounding and strength in your families-of-origin, ‘coming-out’ with your same-sex desire may be one of the first times you face the prospect of being truly stigmatized or disappointing to your loved ones. The fear of a negative, unsupportive reaction from the place in your world where you have felt your safest may have kept your same-sex desires from surfacing. When homophobia carries into your family, peer groups, community, and the greater world around you, its no surprise that many do not come out until later in life, if at all.